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Ontario Premier Doug Ford announces plans to privatize oxygen




TORONTO - Citing a lack of efficiency in today's publicly distributed oxygen delivery, Ontario Premier Doug Ford addressed reporters with a plan to privatize the air people breathe today at a press conference. The Premier insisted competition in the air market will ultimately benefit everyone, saying, "Just imagine, folks, a future where companies will compete to provide you with the cleanest and most refreshing air money can buy." At press time, sources inside the Premier's office said that, started next month, you will be able to receive high quality breathable air by redeeming PC Optimum points.

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